So a month ago I was on top of the world, I started with a new exercise regime, had just ordered some awesome speakers to use once I started operations for my production company. Finally having enough time and stable income to cover the monthly bills.... and bam! I got knocked the fuck out! The last day of March my boss came to me and told me that unfortunately circumstances had made it necessary for them to retrench me as of 01 May! Not only was this a huge shock for me but it was an emotional blow – I am a student and work part time as an Au Pair, I also do freelance work, while gradually saving and buying gear to start my own thing – I have been with this family for a while I get along fantastically with the whole fam and I truly love those kiddies….
All of a sudden, I was up shit creek without a paddle, what is it they say: life is what happens while we are making other plans. I found myself in a position I didn’t want to be in nor was I prepared for it – My exams were coming up in May, sufficed to say I still had a mountain of prep to do which naturally I assumed I’d be able to get more done prior to them ,as I had already made arrangements to be off on the exam days, furthermore I had just spent my entire savings on gear so no nest-egg other than the credit card (which means debt and interest = 2 of my least favourite things). It wasn’t that I thought I wouldn’t find another job in time, or that I had no other avenue’s to pursue – good old mom’s house was an option! OH MY GIDDY AUNT that would’ve been a disaster, don’t get it twisted I love my mom to bits. She’s an amazing woman, I admire and respect her and am thankful for all the help she has already provided me. Frankly, no one wants move back in with the folks in their mid-twenties, or to offload their financial burdens onto them. Naturally she would do whatever she could to help me, I think she would even lose more sleep worrying about my drama than I would, I just couldn’t do that to her, that just ain’t how I roll.
Why is it that we are all fantastic “preachers” who love to dish pearls of wisdom out to any of the people in our lives, friends, family, co-workers, a neighbour… but when it comes to the implementation of said pearls, it seems a lot harder than when we were the one’s encouraging the positive thinking???
Don't get me wrong I realize that life has its ups and downs and the whole "when life hands you lemons make lemonade spiel” But I say screw the lemonade and grab the tequila! No I'm not saying whenever life throws you curve ball you should go on a bender and hope for the best, rather a 21st century twist on age old advice.... instead of just settling and adjusting to a blow or speed bump in your life I find it best to face the challenge head-on and be prepared to change your own plan!
Granted this life lesson was not pleasant, it’s a slippery slope down to self realisation. I was literally flat on my back (emotionally speaking) saying positive things, smiling but not doing what I said I would, not actively organising interviews, not studying, not really doing anything- I was JUICELESS(useless), what a hypocrite I had become. 16 days, that is how long I stuck to my plan, kinda pathetic I know. The first two weeks are always the hardest, I should’ve stayed strong, I was still exercising, but not as much as I planned to, I wasn’t really sticking to my meal plan either… some days no breakfast, a boatload of coffee, then a quick binge on something sweet – momentary fulfilment – then guilt and resentment toward myself In a week I had managed to get myself straight back to square 1 – Sometimes making a huge change feels like an AA 12-step program, I know it’s sounds so wrong to compare a drug or alcohol addiction to a need for comfort eating but it’s all the same, whether it’s breaking a bad habit, dealing with an addiction, or making a major life change, I think there are several phases we have to go through before that change can be realised. You can make a change but it takes balls and you may fail several times, we get knocked down in life so we can learn to get up again. It is day 4 back on track with regards to my exercise and meal plan, 1.6Kg’s down, I got a job yesterday, have made a schedule to ensure I have enough time to prepare for my exams and I feel pretty good.
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